


Jealousy in a Less Obvious Form

by therealphantrash (reysxywalkers)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 3rd person pov but it switches focus starting in chapter 2, Comfort, Coming Out, Cooking, Domestic, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, Jkjk, M/M, Mad Bants, Minor Angst, but he doesnt know that, coming out video, dan is literally jealous of himself, just regular bants, mild swearing, portal 2 (mention), yes they actually cook a meal whaaat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-29 15:12:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6381421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reysxywalkers/pseuds/therealphantrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Phil looked at his door briefly and then back at the camera. "Also," he said, pausing for a few seconds and taking another big breath. "I'm in love with someone. Though, they don't know it." Phil looked slightly sad in this moment, glancing at the ground. "And they'd hate me forever if they found out."</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dan was sitting on his bed scrolling through tumblr when he came across a post about Phil's latest video. He didn't know Phil had uploaded today. 

"omg! have you all seen the latest AmazingPhil video? i'm so proud of him for coming out like that" 

Dan re-read the last sentence carefully. Coming out? Phil hadn't said anything to him.He opened YouTube and navigated Phil's channel, and his latest vlog, titled "Coming Out,” posted only two hours previous. 

_"Hey guys," Phil began. "It's hard to believe I'm even making this video. I never really thought I would be telling anyone this."_  

Dan noticed Phil looked nervous, something he rarely was his videos. 

  _"I've known for a while now that I wasn't attracted to only girls," Phil said after a pause. "But I'm also not attracted to only boys and girls." He took a deep breath._

Dan stared at the screen. Phil wasn't straight? How did he not know? Why hadn't Phil told him before he told the whole world?

_"I identify as pansexual, and no, it doesn't mean I'm attracted to pans!" Phil laughed a bit, diffusing the tension he was feeling in his empty room. "It means that, whatever gender someone may be, I could be attracted to them. It doesn't necessarily mean that I am attracted to everyone on the planet either," he smiled at the camera. "Just like straight men aren't attracted to every woman on the planet and straight women aren't attracted to every man."_

He checked the time left on the video. About two and a half minutes left. 

" _If you want to know more about pansexuality, you should google search it. There's lots of great info!"_

Well that sounded almost like the end of the subject, Dan thought. He must have something else to say. 

_Phil looked at his door briefly and then back at the camera. "Also," he said, pausing for a few seconds and taking another big breath. "I'm in love with someone."_

Dan drew in a shocked breath. Phil was in love with someone? Who? Were they together? Did he know them?

_"Though, they don't know it." Phil looked slightly sad in this moment, glancing at the ground. "And they'd hate me forever if they found out." He sighed._

Who could hate Phil? Dan narrowed his eyes. Why would anyone hate him because he was in love with them? Who wouldn't want Phil to be in love with them? Who was this person? 

_"They're perfect," Phil mused, smiling a little. "They have the brightest, most beautiful smile I've ever seen, they're funny, smart, and one of the best friends anyone could ever ask for."_

Dan's breath hitched. For a brief second, he thought Phil might be talking about him. "One of the best friends..." He mumbled. "That could be anyone we know." Maybe I don't even know them, he thought, jealous of whoever this was. 

_"Well, sorry to end on a sad note," Phil said, ending the vlog._

Dan watched until the end of the video, watching Phil's "click here to subscribe" shenanigans. Once the video was done, he closed his laptop and lay down on his pillows. _Whoever this person is_ , he thought, _they're probably better than me, even if they don't love Phil._ He sighed. It was only 5:00 in the evening, and he knew that he wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. _Might as well get dinner_ , he thought. The brunet swung his legs over the side of his bed and stood up, stretching his back in the process. He wondered whether Phil would want to make something or order pizza.

Down the hall, he found Phil in the lounge browsing on his phone. "Phil," he said from the doorway "you hungry?"

"What? Oh, yeah," Phil looked up from his phone, slightly startled. He hadn't heard Dan come in. "We're you thinking of something specific for dinner?"

"I was going to ask if you wanted to cook or order something."

"Why do you give all the hard decisions to me?" Phil pouted and then laughed. 

Dan rolled his eyes "Well?"

"I don't know, what do we have that we can actually cook?" 

"Probably cereal. Maybe some pasta. I can't remember what we got last time we got groceries."

"Do you want pasta?"

"Sure."

Phil got up from the sofa and put his phone in his pocket. "Let's see what we've got." He said, moving past Dan, who followed him to the kitchen. Phil looked through the cabinets as Dan watched. "We've got spaghetti sauce and some of those spirally noodles. And," He looked in the freezer, "broccoli or peas."

Dan pretended to think hard about the decision. "Broccoli." 

"Alright," Phil replied. "Do you want to start the sauce and broccoli while I start the pasta?"

 "Okay." Dan answered and took the jar that Phil offered him. He got a saucepan from the cabinet and then pretended he didn't stare too long at Phil's arse when he bent over to do the same. He turned away quickly when Phil stood up and set to opening the jar. "Do you want the broccoli separate from the sauce or can I cook them together?" He asked. 

"Um..." Phil thought about it and took his phone out. He tapped out a Google search. 

"Really, Phil." Dan rolled his eyes again. 

"What? I want it to taste good!" He scanned his search result. "All these say to roast the broccoli in the oven first."

"Sounds like a lot of work for a casual two person meal at home," Dan said. "Would you rather just cook the peas in the sauce and call it good?"

"Yeah."

"We can roast broccoli at a later date."

"Don't forget to defrost the peas like last time, Dan."

Dan acted offended. "How could I forget to defrost the peas?" He asked, holding a hand to his chest as if it was a ridiculous notion. 

Phil laughed. "I don't know, maybe the same way you forgot the last time we had frozen peas with a meal?"

Dan side-eyed his friend. "Rude." He said as he cut open the bag of peas and put it in the microwave to defrost.

"Only speaking the truth." Phil countered, filling a pan with water and the box of pasta. 

The two men continued to cook their meal, laughing whenever they bumped into each other in the tiny kitchen. That was normal for them,but Dan couldn’t help wondering if Phil would rather be cooking and bumping into the person he was in love with instead of him. He didn’t laugh the next time they bumped, he just forced a smile and continued to stir the sauce. If Phil noticed the change, he didn’t comment. 

Dan took the peas out of the microwave and added them to the saucepan. He glanced at Phil. “Almost done?” He asked. 

“Just finished,” Phil said, taking the pan off the stove and taking it to the sink to drain. “Are you?”

“Yeah.” Dan replied, taking the sauce to the table.

“Eating at the table tonight? What’s the occasion?” Phil teased, setting the pasta on a trivet. 

Dan hesitated. "I- I just thought since we went to all the trouble of cooking a meal we could eat at the table for once..." 

Phil went back into the kitchen to get plates and forks. "Alright." He agreed.

Dan stared after him. Phil would usually continue to tease him, not agree with him. Especially if he stuttered like he just had. He shrugged and followed Phil into the kitchen to get cups and something to drink.

“What do you want to drink, Phil?” Dan asked, opening the fridge.

“What do we have?” Phil responded, standing behind Dan and leaning into him to look into the fridge.

Dan had to stop himself from stiffening. This type of contact was completely normal for the two men, but Dan, armed with the knowledge that there was the tiniest chance he could be the one Phil was in love with had put his brain on high alert. Dan had had a crush on Phil for years. Since before they met. Until today, he was sure that if Phil found out, he would, as Phil had put it in his video, hate him forever. Now? Well, now, he had a tiny chance. And he wasn't about to give that up. 

"We've got milk, water, and uh...orange juice." He said.

"Orange juice? Why've we got that?"

"Dunno"

"Hm. I think I'll just have water." Phil went to the table and the contact was gone.

Dan let out a quiet sigh. He filled two glasses with water and brought them to the table, sitting across from Phil. Phil had already put food on both their plates, so Dan set one of the water glasses down in front of him and picked up his fork. He sighed and set it down again. 

He looked at Phil. "So," He said. "I saw your video."

Phil looked up with a huge smile. "You did?"

Dan smiled. "Yeah." He ate a bite of pasta and waited for Phil's response. 

"What did you think?" Phil looked at him expectantly. 

"It was great. Really brave of you, you know."

Phil blushed slightly and looked at his plate. "Thanks."

"I do have a couple questions though," Dan continued. "If it's okay with you."

"Yeah, sure," Phil looked at him. "Shoot."

"Um...sorry if this is insensitive at all, but," Dan looked at Phil's expression at him apologising and smiled. "Why didn't you tell me first?"

Phil's eyes shifted. "Well I-" He looked away. "I was scared." He said quietly. 

"Scared?" Dan was confused. Did Phil think that he would treat him any differently because he wasn't straight? 

"Yeah..." Phil looked up again. "I didn't want you to think I was weird or disgusting or something so I just decided to tell everyone so that I wasn't discouraged by a negative reaction from the one person I'm closest to."

"Phil you know I would never." Dan hoped he did.  

"I do now," Phil smiled. "I glad you're supporting of me."

"Of course I am." Dan smiled back. "Why wouldn't I be? Now, my second question," he wiggled his eyebrows a bit. "Who's the lucky person that's caught your attention?"

"Um," Phil looked away again. "I actually can't tell you."

"What? Why not? You know I'd never tell anyone if you didn't want me to." Dan was slightly hurt that Phil wouldn't share this with him. Unless...

"I know, Dan. I just... Can't tell you." Phil looked anxious. 

"Okay, okay I understand," Dan reached across the table to get Phil's attention. "It was super cool of you to come out and a lot of people are really proud of you. I saw it on tumblr." Dan grinned and Phil smiled again. 

"Can we eat now? The food's gonna get cold."

Dan laughed. "Of course!"

They finished their meal, talking and laughing about their plans for their next gaming videos. After they finished they dumped everything in the sink and went into the lounge to play some games. 

They ended up playing Portal 2, Dan resting against the sofa arm with his feet in Phil's lap. Nothing out of the ordinary, Dan reminded himself, we sit like this all the time. But if Phil had looked away blushing when they ended up that way, Dan didn't notice. 

They played Portal until around 10, when Dan asked if they had any plans for the next day.

"Not that I can think of," Phil said. "Did you want to make some?" 

"Hah no." Dan replied. "I'd rather stay on the internet until 3 and get up at noon. You?"

"Same." The pair laughed and continued their game for another few hours, with light conversation here and there, the subject never deviating from the game they were playing. 

About 1 in the morning Phil said he was going to bed and Dan decided he would too, knowing they were both just going to go on the internet for another few hours. He extracted his feet from Phil’s lap and stood up. They turned off the console and went to their respective rooms. Dan lay on his bed for a few minutes trying to figure out why Phil said he couldn’t tell him who the person was before stripping to his boxers and getting out his phone to browse tumblr.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starts in Phil's POV, but switches throughout.

Phil put his pajama pants on and sat in bed with tumblr open on his laptop. He sighed. Sometimes living with Dan was more than his heart could handle. The little crush he’s developed years ago when they met had never gone away, and had, in the past year, developed into full blown feelings. Phil felt so bad about it. He knew Dan wasn’t gay, and he knew that Dan would think it was creepy if he found out that he was the person Phil was in love with. 

He regretted telling everyone that he was in love with someone. I should’ve just left it at coming out, he thought. Dan was too curious to let this go for long. He’d ask about it again. Phil wondered if Dan was hurt that he wouldn’t share this with him. He sighed and scrolled down his dashboard, resting against the headboard with his knees drawn up to his chest. He knew he would take a chance with Dan if he could, but as far as he was concerned, he would never get that chance.

 

**_Dan_ **

Dan set his phone down on the pillow beside him and thought again about what Phil had said, both in the video and during their meal.

“One of the best friends anyone could ever ask for… I just can’t tell you…”

_It probably doesn’t mean anything_ , Dan told himself. _Phil has lots of good friends, and there are probably many reasons he doesn’t want to tell me who it is. In no way does it mean that it’s you_. He sighed and picked up his phone again, burrowing further into his comforter. His dash refreshed and the first post at the top reminded him of himself too much.

 

 Without thinking, he reblogged the photo and tagged it “me rn.”

A few anime posts and memes later, the post was hidden a ways down his blog. If Phil saw that…Well that would be quite embarrassing, he thought, but didn’t delete the post.

 

**_Phil_ **

Phil's tumblr tag was overflowing with people gushing about how proud they were that he'd come out and he smiled at every post, even liking a few. He was very happy with how his coming out was received. 

His tag was also full of speculation about who it was he was in love with. Most of them thought it was Dan, of course, but a few guessed that it was PJ, or even Cat. He could see how they might guess those people from the vague way he'd described Dan in the video. Others thought it might be someone who wasn't a youtuber, perhaps someone he knew as a kid, or someone from uni. He smiled at the posts. 

His inbox always had a lot of messages, but today they were all congratulations and good luck messages. His fans sure could brighten his day. Even on Twitter and the comments on his video, the reaction was super positive. He had been so nervous that the reception of his coming out would go horribly wrong, but everyone was congratulating him, or saying stuff like "all we need now is for Dan to come out!" He frowned slightly at those, hoping Dan wouldn't be offended if he saw them. 

Phil sighed. Being in love with your straight best friend sure was hard work. He was glad they had so much casual touching in their life. He closed his eyes and thought about how Dan had rested his feet in his lap earlier. He wished it could have meant something more. 

 

**_Dan_ **

Dan rolled on to his other side, scrolling down Phil's tag on tumblr, looking for any hate. Happy to find none, he moved to his tag, full of posts wondering if he was going to come out at all. He groaned. If he could find something that fit him, he might consider coming out, but he'd been questioning since he was 16, and never could find something that described how he felt. He knew sexuality could be fluid and he just figured that his was like that. He figured that if he ever ended up with another man or someone of another gender, he would try to come out, but for now he'd just leave it. _I'm still no-homo Howell_ , he thought and sighed.

He re-watched Phil's video a few times, wondering if there was any little thing he hadn't caught. _I'm just like the fans now, aren't I_ , he thought, smiling to himself. _Just as bad, looking for tiny details._

Dan looked at the wall between their bedrooms. Being in love with your best friend who was in love with someone who most likely wasn’t you was strangely tiring. Contrary to his normal habits, he set his phone on his bedside table and tried to sleep at only 1:45 in the morning.

 

**_Phil_ **

Phil moved his computer to the side so he could stretch out his legs. He knew he would have to tell Dan about his feelings at some point, but he didn't want to. He didn't want Dan to think he was a creep. He didn't want Dan to move out. He didn't want Dan to feel weird about being friends with him. But, he also didn't want Dan to find a girlfriend and move out and get married. He wanted them to stay together as Dan and Phil. Whether they were best friends, or something more.

He reached over and shut his computer, setting it on his bedside table. He crawled under his duvet, laid on his back and took a deep breath. The two had already established that they had no plans for the day, meaning that they would likely spend the whole day playing video games or maybe filming. Phil hoped Dan would put his feet in his lap again. The physical contact was so normal, that he wondered how it would change if they ever became a couple. He shook the images from his mind, reminding himself that that would never happen. Reminding himself that Dan liked women, not men. He sighed, rolled onto his side, and went to sleep. 

 

**_Dan_ **

Dan had a dream he hadn’t dreamt for months. The one where he and Phil were together and had been for a while. He hated those dreams. He always woke up full of hope, only for it to be dashed when he rolled over and he was alone.

Of course he would dream of that tonight, since all his feelings had been brought back to the forefront of his mind.

He woke around 4 from this dream and groaned, shoving his face into his pillow. Of course his brain had to be so cruel to him. Phil wasn’t in love with him. He had no reason to have fallen in love with him. He was just a friend. Just. A. Friend. Nothing more. Phil was probably in love with PJ or Cat or someone who was in a relationship already, hence the “hate me forever” line in his video. Dan rolled on to his back and stared at the ceiling. He thought about telling Phil how he felt, but he didn’t want to risk their friendship if his gamble on who Phil had feelings for was wrong. 

He knew he would have to tell him someday, but he didn’t want to. He was too scared of ruining their friendship to risk becoming happier than he had ever been if his tiny thought that it was him that Phil was in love with turned out to be right.

He resolved to let Phil tell him who it was in his own time. Maybe it would never happen, and Dan was okay with that. As long as they got to stay together as friends. As Dan and Phil. He knew that he wasn’t going to find a spouse and move out, not as long as Phil didn’t.

He imagined a scenario in which he was the person Phil was in love with. He wondered if Phil was worried that he would think he was a creep. _If anyone is a creep, it’s me_ , Dan thought. _I had a crush on him before we even started talking. I'm where I am now, living with my favorite youtuber turned best friend because I was once a slightly creepy fan on the Internet._

Dan sighed and sat up. His mind was too awake for him to go back to sleep, even if he had only slept for 2 hours. He figured he'd just nap later. Rubbing his eyes, he stood up and crept down the hall to the kitchen for something to eat.

For once, he didn't catch Phil with his hand in his cereal. For once, Phil was still asleep. Dan was almost relieved. He didn't want to see Phil at this early hour, he might let something slip. But he also kind of wanted to see Phil at this early hour because either one of them might let something slip. Without turning the kitchen light on, Dan quietly got himself a bowl of cereal and moved toward the lounge. 

The glow of a screen caught his attention. He stopped before entering the room and looked in.

Phil was sitting in the chair with his laptop open. Dan looked back toward the kitchen and tried to go back to his room before Phil noticed. 

"I already heard you, Dan." Phil said without looking up. 

"Oh," Dan laughed nervously and stepped into the room. "Guess I'll just sit in here then."

He sat on the couch and started eating his cereal. "So uh, how long've you been awake?"

Phil looked at the clock on his computer screen. "About 45 minutes. You?"

"'Bout ten." Dan answered. "Had a...uh, a weird dream." He took another bite of cereal.

“Huh, really? Me too.” Phil said, still not looking up.

“What about?” Dan tried to engage his friend in an actual conversation with eye contact.

Phil shrugged. “I’ve had it before. Doesn’t matter.” He didn’t take his eyes off the computer.

“Okaaay.” Dan said. Phil was clearly not up for a conversation right now. He finished his cereal and stood up. “I’ll just be going back to bed then.”

Phil mumbled something incoherent so Dan left the room and put his bowl in the sink before going back to his room and laying on his bed. He stared at the ceiling all of 30 seconds before getting up and pacing next to his bed. He stopped briefly to put on sweats and a t shirt but resumed right after. 

He and Phil talked about their strange dreams quite often so he found it odd that Phil wouldn't want to talk about it. Unless it was a similar dream to the one he had had. Dan chided himself. That was just wishful thinking. He moved on to the next thought. Why wouldn't Phil look at him? Was whatever he had on his computer really that interesting? Dan continued to pace. What time was it in America when it was 4 in the morning here? Sometime in the evening. Was Phil talking to someone? Who did they know in America? Cat and Tyler were the only two he could think of at the moment. 

"God, I need to stop," Dan said to himself. "I need to stop being so jealous and just let him be happy with whoever he wants to be happy with, because it's not going to be me in the end. I need to get over him."

He heard a knock on his door. "Dan? Are you okay?" Phil asked from the hall. 

No, Dan thought. No I'm not okay. "Yeah, I'm fine." He said. "Just talking to myself again."

"Are you sure?"

"No..." He whispered. 

"Dan?" Phil hadn't heard him. 

"Yeah, I'm sure." Dan sat down on his bed. 

"Can I come in?" 

"I guess."

Phil came into the room and closed the door behind him, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed. "I heard what you said."

"What?" Dan was glad the light was off so Phil couldn't see his reaction to that. 

"While you were talking to yourself. I've been outside in the hall since you left the lounge." Phil sounded embarrassed. 

"Oh...um I... I uh..." Dan stuttered. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

Dan felt the mattress move as Phil sat down next to him. "Because you heard it." 

"I'm the one who should be sorry. I shouldn't have been eavesdropping on you."

"Hm." Dan shrugged. "Can't change it anyways."

They sat quietly for a while. Dan was upset, Phil was confused, and neither knew what to say.

"Dan?" Phil broke the uncomfortable silence. 

"Hm?"

"Are you afraid that I'm going to leave?"

"Yeah..." Dan mumbled.

"Why?"

"Because whoever it is you're in love with is going to come around and love you back and then you're going to leave so you can be together without me in the way." Dan said quietly, staring at his lap.

Phil smiled a little. "Well, actually..."

Dan felt the tears building up.

"Based on what I've heard in the past five minutes, I think they came around a long time ago."

Dan stared at him a moment "Wait, what?" The prickling feeling in Dan's eyes stopped. "Are you fucking with me? You are aren't you?"

"I'm not, Dan."

Dan blinked a few times. "Me?"

"Yes, it's you."

"I'm dreaming again, aren't I. I'm having the same dream I just woke up from 20 minutes ago and I'm going to wake up again and this won't be real." Dan tipped his head back and squeezed his eyes shut The prickling feeling returned. 

"You have that dream too?" Phil was surprised. 

"You have that dream?" Dan opened his eyes again. "This can't be real. This isn't real."

"It's real, Dan. It's as real as it gets." Phil reached for Dan's hand. "How long?" He whispered.

"Since before you replied to my tweet." Dan whispered back, slightly embarrassed.

Phil squeezed his hand. "Since the first Skype call."

Dan felt a tear fall. "I can't believe this. I can't believe I'm not dreaming right now. This is real. It's 4:30 in the morning and this is happening.” Phil squeezed his hand again, and Dan leaned into him. "It's too early for this." He whispered, resting his head on Phil's shoulder. 

"Probably," Phil agreed. "Do you want to go back to sleep?"

"Yeah..."

Phil stood up and let go of Dan’s hand to let him get under the blanket. Once Dan had settled, Phil crawled in next to him. Dan was already asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> no more pov switches

Dan had that dream again, for the second, though it felt like the third, time that night. He and Phil just going about their day as they did, but with more cuddling and kissing and sleeping in the same bed. Dan wanted to stay in this dream forever. Much to his dismay, he woke a few hours later, ready to be disappointed when he rolled over and was alone again.

He was surprised when he couldn’t roll over. There were arms around him and a body pressed into his back. He twisted his head around to see that Phil was definitely sleeping next to him, in his bed. “Oh my god,” he breathed. “That really wasn’t a dream...Oh no…”

“What do you mean ‘oh no’?” Phil whispered from next to him.

“I uh- um...I...don’t know…?” Dan was starting to panic, that hadn’t gone as planned.

“Did I misinterpret what you said last night? Oh god,” Phil rolled on to his back. “I’m so sorry, Dan, I shouldn’t’ve stayed in here.” He sat up. “I’ll leave, I’m so so sorry.”

Dan rolled onto his back and grabbed Phil’s hand before he could stand. “No, you were right.”

“What?” Phil turned to look at him.

“You didn’t misinterpret anything,”

“Oh thank god.”

“I’m just an idiot. I wasn’t...ready for you to know.” Dan took a deep breath. “Sorry you had to find out that way.”

“I’m sorry I found out before you wanted me to.” Phil removed his hand from Dan’s. “I’ll leave if you want.”

“I don’t want.”

“Oh.” Phil laid back down next to Dan, clasping his fingers over his chest.

“I didn’t say I wasn’t ready now.”

Phil turned his head to look at him.

“Now that I’m fully conscious and aware that last night was not a dream and something I thought would never happen did.”

“I guess now is a good time to tell you that you’re the person I was talking about in my video,” Phil smiled wider. “I never thought I’d be able to tell you.”

“And I never thought I’d be able to tell you that I’ve had a crush on you since before we met.” Dan turned his head so they were face to face.

“It appears that I severely misjudged your reaction while I was sorting out my feelings these past few years.”

“Apparently.”

Both men burst into laughter. “How could we both have been so oblivious?” Phil said, turning onto his side. 

"I honestly don't know,” Dan turned onto his side as well. “At least we finally realised it.” He grinned at Phil.

Phil smiled and laughed. “This might be the second best day of my life.”

“The second?” Dan raised an eyebrow. “What was the first?”

“The day we met in real life for the first time.”

Dan’s face broke my into the biggest smile and he enveloped Phil in a tight hug, rolling on top of him. 

"I could've kissed you right there at the train station, you know," Phil said, grinning. "If I had no self restraint."

"It's a shame you didn't," Dan moved off of him. "We could've been together since then instead of since now."

"Yeah, I'm starting to regret a few of my earlier life decisions involving you."

Dan laughed at that. "I could say the same about you."

Phil rolled his eyes. "Are you hungry?"

"Kinda. What time is it?"

"Dunno. Where's your phone?"

"Umm...I think it's on the side table."

Phil turned to look on the table next to him. He picked up Dan's phone and checked the time. "9:45."

"We slept for five hours?"

"Looks like it."

"Wow."

Phil shrugged. "Always thought I'd sleep better with you next to me."

"Phil, oh my god."

"What?"

"That is so cheesy." Dan laughed. 

"Shut up!" Phil grinned at him. "It's true!"

Dan looked at him. "You are so weird."

"Yeah but you love me anyways."

Dan sighed and smiled. "Yeah, I do."

Phil covered his face so Dan couldn't see him blush. "Dan!"

"What?"

"I have to tell you something." Phil grinned and peeked through his fingers. 

"What is it?" Dan rolled his eyes. 

"I love you."

"Phil!"

"What?" Phil moved his hands away from his face. 

"I love you too."

Phil's face lit up like a kid's on Christmas and Dan grinned. Phil moved closer to him and looked him straight in the eyes. "Dan."

"Phil."

Phil kissed him. He held Dan's face in his hands and kissed him. Dan put his arms around Phil's shoulders and rolled from his side to his back, pulling Phil with him. "Hey Phil..."

"Yeah?"

"I think I have a problem." He smiled 

"What is it?" Phil looked concerned. 

"I'm in love with you."

Phil grinned and laughed. "I could say the same about you." He rolled onto his back. 

Dan looked at him. 

"I'm so happy."

"I'm so hungry." Dan replied and laughed. 

Phil rolled his eyes. "Then go eat something."

"Come with me?"

"Fine."

Dan sat up and swung his legs over this side of the bed, pushing the blankets off of him. He put his hands down to push himself off the bed, but paused briefly, looking behind himself to see if Phil was, in fact, still there. Phil smiled at him and sat up, pushing himself up and off the bed. Dan followed suit, standing up and walking towards the door. Phil stretched his back and followed Dan out the door. Dan, surprisingly, didn’t run into the glass door, and unsurprisingly, went straight to the cereal. Phil stood, leaning against the doorframe. "Cereal again?" He asked, smiling softly at Dan. 

Dan turned and looked at him, holding a bowl of dry cereal. "Do you want some?"

"I'm good." 

"Okay...but no stealing mine once we sit down." Dan laughed a little. 

"Fine, I'll have some too." Phil moved to get his own bowl but Dan stepped forward and held out the one he had. 

"Just get your own milk." Dan smiled, giving Phil the bowl. He turned around and got another bowl and put cereal in it. 

Phil got out the milk and poured some in his bowl. He set the carton on the counter for Dan and slowly made his way to the lounge. Dan poured his own and quickly followed Phil from the room.

They resumed their seats from their early morning conversation (if it could even be called that), Dan on the couch and Phil in the chair, with the view of the doorway. Dan laughed a little. “I didn’t imagine that conversation this morning, did I?” He asked Phil, who was taking a bite of cereal.

“Which one?” Phil asked, his mouth half full.

“The one where we were sitting just like this.” Dan ate some of his own cereal.

“Oh. No, I don’t think so.”

“Hm, okay. Why wouldn't you look at me?” Dan was truly curious.

“Ah, well,” Phil looked at his cereal and smiled “You were only wearing your boxers, I, uh, didn’t want to find myself staring…”

“Oh my god.” Dan set his spoon in his bowl and shook his head. “You really are a dork.”

“Hey!” Phil tried to look offended but he couldn't stop himself from grinning.

“It’s not like I haven’t stared at you before.” Dan said, more seriously.

“You have?” Phil looked briefly confused. Before taking a bite of cereal, he said “There’s not much to look at.”

Dan blinked a few times. “Are you kidding me? There’s everything to look at!”

“Now you’re just messing with me.”  “I’m not!”

“Whatever.”

“You’re gorgeous, Phil.” Dan looked at him, smiling softly and leaned forward to put his bowl on the coffee table.

Phil blushed “You think so?”

“‘Course I do!” Dan leaned back. “Though, I never thought I’d be able to tell you… God, this is too much…” He closed his eyes and tipped his head back.

Phil smiled, but stood from his seat, concerned. “Dan?” He said quietly, moving towards the couch. “Are you sure?”

“Sure of what?”

“Sure that you want this?” Phil sat down next to Dan, a few inches away.

“Yes.” Dan replied, steady certainty in his voice. “I’ve wanted this, wanted you, for so long. It’s just…so much to take in, y’know.”

“I know.” Phil leaned into the back of the couch, and Dan leaned into him, curling his legs up onto the couch. Phil smiled and put his arm around him. 

Dan looked up at him. “You really are so handsome.”

Phil blushed and Dan grinned, pushing himself closer. “Hey Dan?”

“Yeah Phil?”

“D’you think you might want to…” Phil’s face got redder. 

“Want to what?” Dan was holding back giggles.

“You might want to go on a date with me?”

Dans smile softened. “I’d love to.”

Phil’s face lit up. “Really?”

“Of course, you spork!” Dan laughed, sitting up a bit. “Where do you want to go?”

"Well there's this new Italian place I've been wanting to try..."

"Sounds great."

"We'll go at five?"

"It's a date." Dan grinned. "You want some coffee?"

"Always." 

Dan rolled his eyes. "You nerd. I'll go make some." Dan stood up from the couch and stretched before leaving the room. This time, Phil had no shame in staring after him. 

Once in the kitchen, Dan had to stop himself from squealing like he did when he was 18 and Phil replied to his tweet. "Oh my god," Dan whispered to himself while getting out the coffee. "I'm going on a date. An actual date, with Phil," He put the grounds in the coffee pot. "Phil and I are going on a date tonight." He leaned against the counter while the coffee brewed and imagine how it would go. 

Phil could not stop smiling once Dan was out of the room. He asked Dan on a date. Dan said yes. They had kissed not 15 minutes previous. Phil might've thought he'd died and gone to heaven if they hadn’t had that serious conversation just a bit ago. He got up from the sofa and walked slowly toward the kitchen, once again standing in the doorway to watch Dan, who had his back against the counter with his eyes closed, smiling. Phil smiled to himself. How could he have gotten so lucky? He never imagined that this would be the result of his coming out video.

Dan opened his eyes and, upon seeing Phil watching from the doorway, broke into a huge smile. "Coffee's not done yet, y'know."

"I know. I came in here because now I can do this," Phil stepped into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Dan’s waist. "And you won't think I'm being weird."

Dan returned the hug, squeezing Phil tightly. "I want to say I never would have thought that, but I'd be lying. Sorry."

"Don't apologize. I understand."

The coffee maker beeped and Dan turned his head to look at it, not letting go of Phil. "Hmm... Coffee's done..."

"Yeah, so?"

"You wanted coffee."

"Mmm yeah I guess I did." Phil let go of Dan and stepped back. Dan turned around and poured coffee into the two mugs he had set out, turning back to hand one to Phil. "Thanks Dan." Phil said, smiling softly and taking a sip of coffee. 

Dan sipped his coffee, watching Phil do the same. He leaned against the counter again and closed his eyes. The day kept getting better and better. 

"Hey Dan?" Phil said quietly. 

"Hmm?" Dan opened one eye to look at him. 

"What are we going to tell the fans?" 

Dan opened his other eye. "Nothing yet, nothing yet, but we will eventually, I guess. If you want to, of course." Dan said. 

"I do. I want to tell them. They've been waiting as long as we have."

Dan blew air out his nose and smiled a little. "That's true. How soon?"

"I want to keep it just us for a while...okay? Maybe a month or two?"

Dan gave him a thumbs up and a grin. "Sounds good."

Phil giggled a bit. “This is actually happening.”

“Took us long enough.” Dan remarked as he left the kitchen. Phil followed him back to the lounge, and they resumed their seats on the sofa, Dan with his head on Phil’s shoulder. They sat in silence for a few minutes, drinking their coffee and taking it all in. The new reasons for touching. The new touching that was allowed. The whole concept of “Phan is real” floating around their heads.

“Hm,” Dan laughed a little. “We could totally troll them.”  Phil leaned forward to set his mug down, and then settled lower on the sofa, putting his arm around Dan. “Yeah? How?”

“Well,” Dan giggled. “We could drop increasingly suggestive hints as the month goes on and make them go insane,”

Phil looked at him. “Could be fun.”

“Or, we could pretend to be drifting apart so they all freak out about that, and then in a few months we drop the bomb on them,”

“That’s so mean!” Phil giggled again. “I don’t want to pretend anymore.”

“Yeah…or we could just carry on as we have, and in a few months just tell them. No warning, just a sudden video. Or a liveshow, but that might crash YouNow.” Dan looked up at Phil, who laughed at the thought of breaking the live streaming website. “Oh!”

“What?”  
 “PINOF is next month!”

“Oh, that’s perfect!” Phil got a devious look in his eyes. “This will be fun. We can pick all the questions that will be suggestive and then..at the end…”

“The heart hands.”

“And a kiss.”

Dan grinned and Phil couldn’t help himself. He leaned down and kissed him. Just a small kiss, before sitting up and blushing lightly. Dan’s face was slowly becoming red, he set his coffee cup on the table and covered his face, blushing furiously. “Phil!”

Phil giggled. “What?”

Dan buried his face in Phil’s neck, face burning, but smiling. “Still not expecting that to ever happen.” He mumbled.

“Maybe you’ll be more used to it after our date.” Phil leaned his head back.

“But what’re we going to do til then?” Dan sat up, his face returning to it’s normal color.

“Dunno. Mario Kart?”

Dan grinned. “I’m so gonna beat you!”

“Oh no you aren’t!” Phil jumped off the couch and put the game into the Wii as Dan turned on the TV. The two were quickly engrossed in a competitive race, leaning far too much off the couch as if it would make their kart go faster. Phil was so close behind Dan on their third race, and he was determined to win this one. Halfway through the last lap, Phil glanced over at Dan, who was ultra focused on making sure Phil didn’t get ahead of him. Phil gripped his controller and pushed the 2 button as hard as he could before leaning over and kissing Dan right as they hit the final stretch of the race. Dan almost dropped his controller, and Phil shot ahead across the finish line. “Yes! I won!”

“Phil you cheated!”

“No I didn’t!”

“Phiiiil.”

“Daaaaan.”

“You cheated and you know it.”

“Fine. But you always win.”

“That’s because I’m better than you.”

Phil pouted dramatically. “I’ll beat you this time, without cheating!”

“Will you?” Dan wiggled his eyebrows. 

“What are you trying to suggest?”

Dan shrugged and pulled an innocent face. “I don’t know…we could film another Dan vs. Phil for the gaming channel…”

“We could. Or we could not do that. "

"Why not?"

Phil shrugged. "Is it too early to start dropping hints?"

"I don't want to drop hints. I want to just drop the surprise on them like that.” Dan snapped his fingers.”

"Hmmm. Okay.”

“Is that a problem?”

“No, not at all!” Phil smiled. “I’m just worried we’ll be doing quite a bit more editing than we have previously.”

“Well…”

“Dan, we’ve just realized that we’ve been in love with each other for 6 years. Are we really going to be able to film and not constantly touch each other?”

Dan tried not to giggle. “I guess you’re right. But I still want to film something, we can’t leave them hanging for months on end.”

“True. Dan Vs. Phil - Mario Kart 8 Round 2?”

Dan grinned. “I’ll get the camera.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 is unwritten; motivate me please
> 
> main tumblr: floraljohnlock.tumblr.com  
> phanfic/phanart tumblr: therealphantrash.tumblr.com


End file.
